I have been really busy, in June 2017, I was elected Auxiliary President of VFW Post 5789 in Lee’s Summit, Mo. My passion is to help as many Veterans as possible. I am working very hard to do that as the Auxiliary President. I will keep posting. If you have any questions, Please, do not hesitate to contact me. God bless our Veterans!! You are our Hero’s!!
Author: sueburger2
I am the daughter of a Vietnam Veteran. I belong to the VFW Auxiliary. Recently at church we had a new family come to church, he has a service dog, I had been following and praying for the Veterans who have been committing suicide. I have decided that I want to help Veterans get the help that they may need.
About Seeking Mental Health Treatment
- For almost every mental health condition, there are a number of effective treatments that can help you cope with symptoms and greatly improve your quality of life.
- You may need to work with your physician or mental health professional and to try different types of treatment before finding the one that’s best for you. VA specializes in providing care for Veterans, and it has clinicians who can help you find the right combination of care and treatment for your unique situation.
- Most treatments can produce positive and meaningful changes in symptoms and quality of life after just a brief amount of time.
- Treatment can help you understand your condition and change how you think about it, in part by identifying steps to improve your response to emotional triggers, stressful situations, and other challenges in your life.
Types of Treatment
The following types of treatment may be used independently or in combination:
- Therapy or counseling can help you learn new ways of thinking, practice positive behaviors, and take active steps to move beyond your symptoms. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one type of counseling that research shows is effective for a number of different mental health challenges. Therapy or counseling may be one-on-one, in a group, with you and your family, or some combination of these approaches.
- Medications work in different ways to manage the chemicals in your brain that may affect the way you feel.
- Self-help approaches may be used to support other treatments and may include participating in 12-step meetings and using apps or other tools suggested by your treatment provider. VA has developed useful Web-based training tools and apps for Veterans, several of which can be found here: www.veterantraining.va.gov
- Peer support services, in which Veterans who have experienced mental health challenges themselves provide support to fellow Veterans, can be a powerful resource during the journey of recovery.
VA’s Guide to Mental Health Services describes what happens when you request mental health services from VA, discusses the different settings in which treatment is delivered, and lists the treatments for specific conditions, as well as providing other helpful information.
When to Get Treatment
- Whether you just returned from a deployment, were stateside during your whole time in service, or have been home for 40 years, it’s never too late to get treatment or support for the challenges you face. Even Veterans who didn’t realize they were dealing with a mental health condition for many years have improved their lives with treatment.
- If you’ve just started experiencing symptoms — even if you aren’t even sure if anything is really wrong — reach out now. Receiving treatment as soon as possible may help prevent your symptoms from getting worse.
Factors That Can Affect Treatment
- Some conditions occur alongside other mental or physical challenges, which may mask certain symptoms or make them worse. It’s helpful to have a full physical exam and mental health assessment for an accurate understanding of what’s going on.
- Sometimes, alcohol or drug use can make mental health conditions worse and their treatments less effective. Reducing your alcohol or drug use may be an important step toward getting the full benefits of your treatment. There are VA and community treatment options available to help you decrease your alcohol or drug use, if needed.
Recovering from a mental health challenge is a process that involves hope, action, problem-solving, and tapping into or building up your support system — in addition to close guidance from a trained professional. In recent years, research from around the world has dramatically increased our understanding of mental health conditions and how to treat them, enabling the successful treatment and recovery every day of Veterans who experience these conditions. Our video gallery has hundreds of real stories from Veterans whose lives prove that treatment can work and recovery is possible.
What are flashbacks?
Do you sometimes feel as if you are reliving a past event? Does a noise, smell, or something you see seem to send you back to the scene of a traumatic event? Do bad feelings or strong emotions from another time come up unexpectedly and strongly, causing you to lose track of your surroundings? These may be signs of flashbacks.
A flashback occurs when you feel as if you are re-experiencing a traumatic event. You might remember everything about the event as if you were going through it again — vividly recalling the sights, sounds, smells, and other details. You might even have the same feelings or physical sensations that you had at the time of the event.
Some Veterans may experience flashbacks when they are in situations that are similar to a traumatic event from the past. For example, a combat Veteran may have flashbacks to his or her time in the military when war scenes are shown on TV or in a movie or when a car backfires. Other Veterans find that just experiencing the same feelings felt in the past reminds them of a traumatic event, even if the circumstances are not the same. For example, the stress of being in a car accident may trigger flashbacks to an assault.
“It didn’t take much to send my mind back there. Trash on the side of the road, large crowds of people, fireworks – a lot of things seemed to trigger flashbacks. Even though I knew it wasn’t real, it still felt like it throughout my body.”
Often a symptom of posttraumatic stress, flashbacks can interfere with your ability to enjoy life. They can be stressful or disturbing, and you may worry whether you’ll have flashbacks in certain situations or out in public. You may be concerned about what people will think, or try to avoid social events that might trigger flashbacks. They can also be a cause of alarm to your family and friends, especially if they don’t understand what’s happening or know about some of the difficult things you have experienced.
If I’m experiencing a flashback, what can I do about it right away?
A flashback can be a distressing experience for you as well as the people around you. Try to remember to:
- Keep your eyes open, look around you, and notice where you are.
- Remind yourself how this situation is different than the traumatic event.
- Acknowledge how you are feeling.
- Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor.
- Practice relaxation exercises, such as taking slow, deep breaths.
- Concentrate on something good about your present life, such as your family or friends or the ability to do things that you enjoy.
- Get up and move around, have a drink of water, or wash your hands.
- Call someone you trust and tell him or her what is happening.
- Remind yourself that your reaction is a common response after trauma.
Talking to your family and friends about what you’re feeling and experiencing can be a good first step. They may be able to provide support and help you deal with your flashbacks when they occur. You can also begin to let them know when certain things may trigger a flashback.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with proven resources and effective treatments for flashbacks. If flashbacks are affecting your health and well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
- A spiritual or religious adviser
Explore these resources for more information about flashbacks among Veterans.
Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to flashbacks, such as stress and anxiety, feeling on edge, posttraumatic stress, and effects of military sexual trauma.
National Center for PTSD
This website provides information, resources, and practical advice for Veterans, their family and friends, and the public when dealing with trauma.
www.ptsd.va.gov/public/index.asp
AfterDeployment
This website has wellness resources for Veterans and Service members, including information and self-help tools for posttraumatic stress and other issues they commonly experience.
www.afterdeployment.dcoe.mil
Moving Forward: Overcoming Life’s Challenges
Moving Forward is a free online educational and life-coaching program that teaches problem-solving skills to help you better handle life’s challenges. While it’s designed to be especially helpful for Veterans, Service members, and their families, Moving Forward teaches skills that can be useful to anyone with stressful problems.
www.veterantraining.va.gov/movingforward
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Flashbacks may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
What is feeling on edge?
Feel on edge in crowds? Overwhelmed by an unexplainable sense of panic? Do you find it hard to stop thinking about safety? Are you on a short fuse?
Feeling on edge is also called hypervigilance, a symptom experienced by some Veterans who have returned from war or experienced traumatic events during their time in the military. Hypervigilance is a state of being on very high alert — constantly “on guard” — to possible risks or threats. It may be the result of an experience in a combat zone, a noncombat training exercise, or another type of traumatizing event in your military or civilian life.
“When I went out for dinner, I always wanted to have my back to the wall and be able to see the door from where I was sitting.”
Your military training taught you the importance of being observant and alert when you need to be. Hypervigilance goes beyond that — it can interfere with your ability to enjoy life or even just get through the day. Some people have trouble concentrating, feel irritable, become easily upset, or react strongly to sounds and sights around them. Other symptoms can include physical effects like a pounding heart, headache, or upset stomach.
Hypervigilance can also contribute to sleep problems or the avoidance of places that make you feel uncomfortable, like busy grocery stores, social gatherings, or sports events. It may also lead you to distrust other people or try to control their actions, putting a strain on your personal relationships.
If I’m feeling on edge, what can I do about it right away?
- Breathe deeply.
- If you’re with other people, tell them what you’re feeling so they can try to help you work through it.
- Try grounding yourself by focusing on details of your surroundings or neutral physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the floor.
- Practice relaxation exercises, such as taking slow, deep breaths.
- Get up and move around, have a drink of water, or wash your hands.
- Calmly remove yourself from the situation.
Talking to your family and friends can be a first step — turn to them whenever you are ready. They may be able to provide support and help you find treatment that is right for you. You can also begin letting people know when certain places or activities make you uncomfortable.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with proven resources and effective treatments for dealing with symptoms like hypervigilance. If hypervigilance is affecting your health and well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage hypervigilance even without direct experience with Veterans.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
- A spiritual or religious adviser
Explore these resources for more information about Veterans feeling on edge.
Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to hypervigilance, such as social withdrawal, stress and anxiety, and posttraumatic stress.
National Center for PTSD
This website provides information, resources, and practical advice for Veterans, their family and friends, and the public when dealing with trauma.
www.ptsd.va.gov/public/index.asp
AfterDeployment
This website has wellness resources for Veterans and Service members, including information and self-help tools for posttraumatic stress and other issues they commonly experience.
www.afterdeployment.dcoe.mil
Moving Forward: Overcoming Life’s Challenges
Moving Forward is a free online educational and life-coaching program that teaches problem-solving skills to help you better handle life’s challenges. While it’s designed to be especially helpful for Veterans, Service members, and their families, Moving Forward teaches skills that can be useful to anyone with stressful problems.
www.veterantraining.va.gov/movingforward
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Hypervigilance may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
What should I know about experiencing the death of family or friends?
Losing a friend or loved one is always difficult and may sometimes be traumatic. Whether your best friend or spouse passes away after a long illness or you lose a battle buddy in combat, these losses are painful. There is no “right” way to respond to losing a friend or relative. Grief is an extremely personal response that is unique to you and the nature of your loss.
Some Veterans experience traumatic grief following the sudden death of a family member or friend or after witnessing multiple casualties, as in a military combat situation, natural disaster, or accident. You may have lost a friend in your unit, and you keep thinking about what you could have done to prevent it. Or maybe you are filled with anger at others who you feel caused the death. Perhaps you have lost a parent, your spouse, or someone who has been part of your life for a long time.
“I felt like it was time for me to move on after losing my best friend, but there was such an empty hole in my life. I didn’t see how I’d ever feel happy again.”
Grieving is a natural reaction to the loss of a loved one or friend, and a wide range of responses is common. You may experience any of the following:
- Feeling numb and being distracted
- Yearning for the person you lost or your old way of life
- Being angry and irritable
- Feeling very tired or having trouble sleeping
- Distancing yourself from certain people or becoming much closer to others
- Becoming more quiet than usual
- Feeling like you aren’t the same person you were before your friend or loved one died
- Questioning your faith or struggling with spiritual questions
- Having conflicting emotions, such as feeling despair as well as relief
- Wanting to end your life and join the person who died
What should I keep an eye out for after the loss of a friend or family member?
Grieving is a difficult time, but for most people life begins to improve again soon, maybe even after just a few weeks. However, some people experience grief that lasts for a very long time or in ways that make it difficult to carry on with normal life. If you can’t sleep for a long period of time or feel agitated, unsettled, or hopeless for more than a couple of weeks, you may want to reach out for help with the grieving process. If you have a chronic medical condition that has worsened because of the emotional and physical stress of grief, you should contact your doctor right away.
What can I do after losing a friend or family member?
Getting support from friends and family and making sure to eat right, get enough rest, and exercise are usually the best ways to take care of yourself for however long it takes to work through your grief.
“I didn’t leave the house for a week after my wife passed away. She’d been with me since I got back from combat and supported me through the worst of it. Talking to my pastor helped a lot, though. He reminded me that she wouldn’t have wanted me to come this far just to break down now.”
After the death of a family member or friend, try to remember to:
- Take care of your health and eat well.
- Let others help you.
- Exercise to release stress.
- Talk with friends, especially those who were close to the person or who understand the situation.
- Speak with a spiritual or religious adviser or chaplain.
- Focus on how the person lived, not how he or she passed away.
- Express how you feel.
- Rest and get enough sleep.
- Avoid quick fixes that you may think will help you cope, like drinking alcohol, taking drugs, or smoking cigarettes.
You shouldn’t feel the need to set a timetable for getting over your loss — but if your grief is making it hard to function for more than a week or two, you may want to reach out for support. Talking to close friends and loved ones about your feelings and concerns or joining a grief support group may help you feel more connected with other people and less lonely.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with proven resources, services, and support to address the issues impacting their lives. If the grief over loss of a friend or family member is interfering with your health and well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, your daily activities, or your ability to do your job, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- A spiritual or religious adviser
- A bereavement support group
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does.
- A mental health professional with experience in grief counseling
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
Explore these resources to learn more about coping with the death of a family member or friend.
Learn about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to grief, such as trouble sleeping, social withdrawal, alcohol and drug problems, posttraumatic stress, and depression.
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
What is noise or light irritation?
Do you find yourself squinting at any light — even when it’s not very bright? Do loud noises cause you discomfort? Have you had headaches that make lights or sounds more painful to experience? These are all signs of noise or light irritation.
Light sensitivity, sometimes called photophobia, and noise sensitivity may make it difficult or painful to deal with even average lights or sounds. Light sensitivity can be related to sun glare, indoor fluorescent lights, or glare from a computer monitor. You may also have sound sensitivity to either loud or persistent noises around you. Sometimes, hypersensitivity to sound or light comes with headaches.
You may wonder why you have noise sensitivity or light sensitivity. Some Veterans experience these symptoms because of whiplash-related injuries from combat or accidents in military or civilian life. Veterans who have experienced possible traumatic brain injury may also have hypersensitivity to sound or light. Someone might also be easily startled by sidden noises after they have been through a traumatic experience. Certain eye conditions can also cause problems with glare or light sensitivity.
“Sometimes the lights in stores can give me an immediate headache. My eyes will sometimes hurt after turning on a light or going outside in the sunshine.”
Sensitivity to light and sound can interfere with your work and daily activities. Being unable to tolerate average levels of light or sound can make it difficult to go outside, participate in social events, or do your job. Sometimes noise or light irritation is related to other health conditions that should be addressed.
If I’m experiencing noise or light irritation, what can I do about it right away?
- Learn what things trigger episodes of noise or light irritation so that you can avoid them.
- Darken the room you’re in, or wear earplugs.
- Make adjustments to computer and TV screens.
- Take breaks away from settings that you find difficult due to light and noise.
- Practice relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation.
- Do your best to get the right amount of sleep.
Certain drugs or medications may cause vision or hearing problems. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist if you’re taking medication and want to know if it could be affecting your sensitivity to noise or light. You should never stop taking a prescription without first consulting a medical professional.
Talking to your family and friends can be a good first step. They may have already noticed that you have hearing or vision issues and might be able to provide support and help you find out what’s causing these sensitivities.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with useful resources and effective treatments for managing noise or light sensitivity. If sound or light sensitivity, hearing loss, or vision problems are affecting your health and well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage noise and light irritation even without direct experience with Veterans.
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who may be able to teach you new skills for coping with your sensitivity to light and sound
- A medical specialist, such as an ophthalmologist (a physician who specializes in medical or surgical problems of the eyes) or an audiologist (a health care professional who specializes in hearing and balance problems)
Explore these resources for more information about Veterans experiencing noise and light irritation.
Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to noise or light irritation, such as problems with headaches, effects of traumatic brain injury, and posttraumatic stress.
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Noise or light irritation may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
What is chronic pain?
Do you have an injury that doesn’t seem to get better? Are you often irritable because of constant physical discomfort? Is it difficult to stand, walk, sit, or do everyday tasks? These can all be signs of chronic pain.
When a person experiences pain in one or more areas of the body, such as the neck, head, arm, or leg, for at least three to six months, it is considered chronic pain. The pain may be nagging or severe and often seems worse than short-term pain because of its prolonged duration. General wear and tear from aging, as well as different types of illnesses and injuries, can cause chronic pain.
Some Veterans have chronic pain from lasting effects of injuries that occurred in the military, such as a “phantom limb” after an amputation or back or spinal cord damage after an accident. Many times, injuries suffered in military training or during deployment may seem to have healed, but as you age, they can re-emerge and become a source of chronic pain. Often it is hard to figure out the source of long-term pain.
“In combat, I had no other option than to ‘suck up’ the pain and ‘drive on.’ But now that I’m back, it’s a relief to know there are ways for me to cope with it.”
Many people experience chronic pain at some point in their lives. Chronic pain can hinder or even prevent common, day-to-day activities like sitting, standing, and waiting in line. Many people who deal with chronic pain find the constant experience of pain and the restrictions it places on their daily activities makes them feel down or irritable. Some people become depressed or hopeless if they think the pain will never end or there is nothing they can do about it.
When it comes to chronic pain, you don’t have to just live with it. Depending on what’s causing the pain, there are various options for chronic pain treatment, such as:
- Physical therapy to increase your level of pain-free activity
- Therapy or counseling to change the way you relate to or cope with your pain
- Relaxation and mindfulness techniques to manage the stress of chronic pain
- In some cases, advanced medications or other treatments to reduce the level of severe pain
If I’m experiencing chronic pain, what can I do about it right away?
If you are experiencing chronic pain, there are a few things you can do to deal with your symptoms and improve your well-being:
- Tell your doctor about it. He or she can help develop a treatment plan for you.
- Educate yourself on your condition so you can decide on the best options for managing your pain.
- Keep a “pain diary,” where you can record your progress with pain and how it affects your life.
- Find ways to stay physically active, according to the recommendations of your doctor.
Your friends and family members have likely noticed that your chronic pain is affecting your life. Talking to them can be especially helpful as you look for the type of chronic pain treatment that is right for you.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with effective treatments for chronic pain management and resources. If chronic pain is affecting your well-being or getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage chronic pain even without direct experience with Veterans.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist, who can provide you with effective ways to cope with your pain
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans and has clinicians and programs dedicated to pain management and treatment.
- A spiritual or religious adviser
Explore these resources for more information about chronic pain in Veterans.
Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to chronic pain, such as depression, posttraumatic stress, and alcohol or drug problems.
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Chronic pain may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
What is an alcohol or drug problem?
Do you have a problem with drinking or drug use? How can you tell? Many people drink alcohol responsibly or take drugs for medical purposes. To decide if your drinking or drug use is unhealthy or increases risk, it is important to stop and think about how these activities may be affecting your life.
Consider the following signs:
- Does drinking alcohol or taking drugs sometimes interfere with your life at home, at work, or at school?
- Do you sometimes have many drinks in a row, or find it hard to stop drinking or using drugs and wind up taking more than you intended?
- Have your friends or family said they’re worried about your drinking or drug use?
- Are your relationships suffering because of your drinking or drug use?
- Have you gotten into situations while drinking or using drugs where you could have gotten hurt (e.g., driving, swimming, operating machinery, etc.)?
- Have you wanted to cut down or tried to cut down on your drinking or drug use?
- Have you found that you must drink or use drugs more than usual to achieve the same effect they once had? Or that the same number of drinks has less effect than it used to?
- Have you spent a lot of time drinking or using drugs and being sick afterwards?
- Have you given up or cut back on things that are important and interesting to you in order to drink or use drugs?
- Is drinking or using drugs affecting your health or making you feel depressed or anxious?
- Have you ever “blacked out” and not been able to remember what happened while under the influence of alcohol or drugs?
- When the effects of drugs or alcohol were wearing off, have you felt sick, had trouble sleeping, or sensed things that were not real?
“My wife was sympathetic that I was drinking to cope with some of my deployment-related issues but she could only deal with it for so long. I think I made the decision to get help for her as much as I did for myself.”
Without really thinking about it, you may drink or take drugs as a way to try to cope with bad memories or traumatic experiences from your time in the military or with other difficult feelings. Maybe your home situation is less than ideal or you’re having a hard time connecting with other people. Do you sometimes use alcohol or drugs to:
- Feel “normal” and accepted?
- Handle difficult issues or emotions in your life?
- Get going in the morning?
- Feel less worried or sad?
- Fall asleep or sleep better?
- Deal with tension?
- Forget your problems?
Although it may seem like drinking or using drugs helps you to cope in the short run, these activities actually can make your problems worse. Using alcohol or drugs to cope might be hurting your health, interfering with work, and damaging your relationships. Taking action to address your substance use and its symptoms may seem unnecessary or possibly overwhelming at first. But for many people, it is a critical step toward happier and healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.
What can I do about drinking or drug use?
Quitting or cutting back drinking or taking drugs can be hard. Trying to do this on your own, without any support, can make it even harder. Talking to your family and friends could be a first step. They may be able to provide support and help you find the assistance that’s right for you.
There are many options for Veterans who want to cut down or stop using drugs or drinking alcohol. It doesn’t matter if you want to stop having one drink a day or if you have a life-threatening addiction — there are resources for you. Support and treatment come in many forms. One option is counseling, either one-on-one with a therapist or in a group. Another involves medication to help you reduce your use of alcohol or drugs. A third option is mutual-help groups with others who are working on similar problems. You can work with your doctor or counselor and try different types of treatment to find the one that’s best for you.
“It helped a lot to know that there were Veterans out there who were in the same place as me. Just listening to their stories and advice turned out to be more helpful and motivating than I could’ve ever imagined.”
In addition, taking an anonymous and confidential self-assessment may help you find out if you need to see a professional about your drinking or drug use. You will be asked a series of questions about your experience using drugs and alcohol throughout your life and in the past three months. Although this set of questions is not designed to tell you whether or not you definitely have an alcohol or drug problem, it can indicate whether it’s a good idea to see a professional for further assessment.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard find effective solutions to dealing with alcohol and drug problems by connecting with other Veterans, proven resources, and treatment. If drugs and alcohol abuse are getting in the way of your relationships, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage alcohol or drug problems even without direct experience with Veterans.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist
- Local support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
- A spiritual or religious adviser
Explore these resources for Veterans who want to address alcohol or drug problems.
Learn more about other concerns that may occur alongside alcohol or drug problems, such as chronic pain, trouble sleeping , relationship problems, posttraumatic stress, and depression.
VA’s Substance Use Page
Read more about VA’s programs and services for Veterans dealing with substance misuse.
www.mentalhealth.va.gov/res-vatreatmentprograms.asp
NIAAA Rethinking Drinking
Learn more about alcohol and the recommended limits for alcohol use.
www.rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih.gov/Default.aspx
Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help
This guide is written for individuals, and their family and friends, who are looking for options to address alcohol problems. It is intended as a resource to understand what treatment choices are available and what to consider when selecting among them.
pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/Treatment/treatment.htm
AfterDeployment
Take an online workshop with interactive exercises to evaluate your own substance use and hear from other Veterans and service members dealing with alcohol abuse or drug problems.
www.afterdeployment.dcoe.mil/topics-alcohol-drugs
Alcoholics Anonymous
For meeting information, contact a local AA resource that provides meeting times and locations. Use this link for a list of meeting resources by state and province in the U.S. and Canada.
www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources
Narcotics Anonymous
This link will allow you to search for an NA meeting located near you.
www.na.org/meetingsearch/
SmokefreeVET/Smoking Cessation
Those seeking support for alcohol and drug abuse may also want to stop smoking. SmokefreeVET is a mobile text messaging service for Veterans who receive their health care through VA. Veterans can sign up for automated text messages from SmokefreeVET by visiting www.smokefree.gov/vet. Additionally, SmokefreeVET has a Facebook page where Veterans who are quitting smoking can post messages of support and encouragement to each other. For more information on VA’s smoking and tobacco cessation programs, visit www.publichealth.va.gov/smoking. To speak with a smoking cessation counselor, call 1-855-QUIT-VET.
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Alcohol or drug problems may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
Have you had trouble lately getting along with people close to you? Or maybe your relationship with your family hasn’t been as good lately as it used to be. Perhaps military life or deployment has strained your relationships or made it challenging to take care of the people who depend on you. Maybe it’s difficult to talk or make decisions with your family without getting into arguments, or you feel disconnected from the important people in your life.
Many of these problems are common to everyone at some point in life. But others are unique to situations that Veterans and their loved ones experience.
What can lead to relationship problems?
Problems like stress, posttraumatic stress, health concerns, depression, anxiety, irritability, insomnia, feeling out of place or disconnected, or difficulties with memory may interfere with strong relationships. Family members and friends may not understand these problems very well, including how they can affect relationships. Veterans who have experienced traumatic events such as combat or sexual assaults often find it especially difficult to talk to their loved ones.
Military training rewards self-reliance, so your first instinct when facing any problem may be to withdraw or isolate from others instead of sharing what you are going through. It can also feel like you are protecting your loved ones by not sharing information. But instead, it can cause you and your family members to feel disconnected or distant.
“Even though I tried hard to care about certain things again, especially the issues my wife and I were having, at the end of the day I was still numb to a lot of it. Many of my problems at home seemed to pale in comparison to the things I had to overcome during my deployment.”
Relationship issues can make it difficult to enjoy life: You may feel as if no one understands you, and as a result, you may lash out or pull away from the people in your life.
Sometimes relationship problems involve emotional or physical abuse. Behaviors that are fear-inducing, controlling, demeaning, intimidating, or physically or emotionally abusive or violent are signs of an abusive relationship. Whether you are on the receiving end of these behaviors or your behavior is what’s harmful or scary to others, it’s essential to find support. Family members, friends, or a professional — such as a doctor or counselor — can help you learn healthier ways of relating that do not bring harm to others.
What are signs that I should reach out for support?
You may want to reach out for help if you are experiencing any of the following over a long period of time, or if others have pointed these out to you:
- Feeling misunderstood or disconnected from your family and close friends or having them tell you they feel distant or pushed away
- Having difficulty communicating
- Feeling distant from your spouse/partner even if you initially felt very close when you first returned from deployment
- Feeling like a stranger in your own home
- Feeling emotionally distant or numb or avoiding closeness with others
- Withdrawing from participation in social activities
- Feeling lonely
- Believing that you’re a burden to others
- Acting or feeling angry or aggressive toward others in your life
- Withdrawing from making plans or returning people’s calls
- Not being able to confide in others like you used to
- Losing patience with family members, including children
- Drinking alcohol more often or taking drugs
- Feeling constantly on edge
- Being angry or irritable
- Losing interest or pleasure in things you normally enjoy
- Having difficulty living your usual life or just getting through the day
If I’m experiencing relationship problems, what can I do about it right away?
Many Veterans have overcome relationship problems that arose after time away from family or after traumatic events or stressful situations. Here are some tips they have found to be helpful:
- Address the issue as soon as you realize it’s happening to prevent it from getting worse.
- Make a “communication plan” for expressing your thoughts and feelings with those you care about by thinking about what you want to say and how you want to convey it. Writing these thoughts and feelings down can often help.
- Listen to what others who care about you have to say.
- Talk with others who may be experiencing similar issues.
- Exercise regularly to help relieve stress and boost your mood.
- Practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing.
- Make an effort to spend time with people you care about to relax or have fun.
- Find something social to do, such as a hobby, a Veterans’ group, volunteer work, or becoming involved in a place of worship.
- Balance alone time and “together” time.
You can take this free, confidential self-assessment to get feedback on your relationship problems. Although this short quiz is not a formal assessment, it can give you a sense of how you’re doing with family or relationship issues and may be helpful in deciding how to take action, including if seeking professional help might be a good idea.
“Just like we all say in the service, ‘It’s all about that person to your left and right.’ Those are the kinds of relationships that kept us strong — and kept us alive — while we were in, and it’s just as important to maintain that strength in our personal relationships now that we’re out.”
Talking to your family and friends about the difficulties in your relationships can be an important first step. While it can be difficult to share your feelings, it’s important to explain what you’re experiencing to them. They may get a better understanding of your circumstances and help you find support. You may also want to use support services to help you to better express yourself with your family and friends.
Take the next step: Make the connection.
Every day, Veterans who served in the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, and Coast Guard connect with useful resources and effective treatments for relationship problems. If relationship trouble is affecting your health and well-being or getting in the way of your happiness, work, or daily activities, you may want to reach out for support. Consider connecting with:
- Your doctor. Ask if your doctor has experience treating Veterans or can refer you to someone who does. If you feel comfortable enough with your physician, he or she may be able to help you find tools to manage relationship problems even without direct experience with Veterans.
- A mental health professional, such as a therapist
- Your local VA Medical Center or Vet Center. VA specializes in the care and treatment of Veterans.
- A spiritual or religious adviser
Explore these resources for more information about relationship problems in Veterans.
Learn more about what you can do if you are experiencing specific concerns related to relationship problems, such as stress and anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress, and alcohol or drug problems.
Coaching Into Care
This VA program provides guidance for helping family members encourage their Veterans to get on a better track. Free, confidential assistance is available by calling 1-888-823-7458 or emailing CoachingIntoCare@va.gov.
www.mirecc.va.gov/coaching
National Center for PTSD – Intimate Partner Violence Information
This resource provides information on intimate partner violence and the VA services that are available for Veterans who experienced abuse in their relationships.
www.ptsd.va.gov/public/types/violence/domestic-violence.asp
AfterDeployment
This website has wellness resources for Veterans and Service members, including information and self-help tools for anger and irritability and other issues they commonly experience.
www.afterdeployment.dcoe.mil/topics-anger
Vet Center
If you are a combat Veteran, you can bring your DD214 to your local Vet Center and speak with a counselor or therapist — many of whom are Veterans themselves — for free, without an appointment, and regardless of your enrollment status with VA. In addition, any Veteran who was sexually traumatized while serving in the military is eligible to receive counseling regardless of gender or era of service.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/vetcenter.asp
VA Medical Center Facility Locator
Relationship problems may be related to other health conditions that need attention. VA provides world-class health care to eligible Veterans. Most Veterans qualify for cost-free health care services, although some Veterans must pay modest copays for health care or prescriptions. Explore your eligibility for health care using VA’s Health Benefits Explorer tool and find out more about the treatment options available to you.
www.va.gov/directory/guide/home.asp?isflash=1
Make the Connection
If you are a Veteran, or family member of a Veteran, facing challenges in your everyday life…
You Are Not Alone.
There are millions of Veterans and family members who have reached out for support during tough times. Their lives got better. Yours can too.
There’s a Resource Just for You:
MakeTheConnection.net is an online resource designed to connect Veterans, their family members and friends, and other supporters with information, resources, and solutions to issues affecting their lives.
Use MakeTheConnection.net to …
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Watch and Connect with Veteran Stories.
Over 400 Veterans and family members from across the country have shared their stories of strength and recovery. On MakeTheConnection.net, it takes only seconds to find a story that is just for you.
Try It: Find the Story for You
Healing Veterans one step at a time 